


The Price Of Love

by danvssomethingorother



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is trying to parent, Bruce does love his sons but he's bad at emotions, Dark, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt Dick Grayson, Insecure Dick Grayson, M/M, Romani Dick Grayson, Slade uses Dick insecurities to get what he wants, Things aren't as they seem, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator, dead dove don't read, more tags to be added as each chapter comes in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danvssomethingorother/pseuds/danvssomethingorother
Summary: After being fired as Robin, Dick thought he could take Bruce’s sentence of boarding school gracefully. Maybe all they needed to do was calm down, tensions had been high even before he had almost bled out in his father’s arms. They just needed time.Then he saw him, the new Robin, his new and younger model. Bruce was legally adopting him, and he hadn’t been accepting a single of Dick’s phone calls.He had never felt true pain until now
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 124
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter 1

(“Robin is done. This isn’t a discussion.”

Bruce had said that, but this hadn’t been the first time he said that. Dick didn’t realize how different this time was until he healed enough to leave the med bay and found his clothes packed for him. There was an envelope on the desk and Dick hesitantly opened it, his worst fears were becoming reality, he was being shipped away.)

It was midnight, Dick smiled smugly feeling like he was getting away with murder. He shrugged shimming his way back into his room and creeping across the room to the bathroom silently, his roommate always the heavy sleeper not moving.

He pulled his ski mask off and winked devilishly at his reflection; he had done it again. Another night moonlighting as some nameless vigilante and Bruce hadn’t caught on. He pulled his bag down and signed onto his computer, his network wasn’t as good as the Batcave’s, but it made do. Bruce didn’t realize he was still using his old equipment or his hologram glove thanks to the network he had worked out.

He jotted down the string of robberies locations and hacked into the Jump PD’s network to see what they knew about it. He hummed to himself in satisfaction realizing he had made more progress so far. Should he be doing this? He knew the answer was no, but he had been doing this since he was eight and had been in the spotlight since he was in the womb, he didn’t know the meaning of just having a normal life. Maybe he could prove to Bruce he was worth keeping around.

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket and sighed seeing none of his texts had been answered. He didn’t understand what he had done to make Bruce hate him, but the very idea of Bruce being cut from his life hurt. He loved his dad and maybe if he tried harder, he would want him back.

He knew that’s not how these things worked, but god, the idea of being without his dad just wasn’t something he felt he could deal with.

;

“Why you all packed, Grayson?”

His roommate was giving him a weird look now, it might be described as pity, but Dick didn’t want to feel pitied.

“Christmas, Wilson,” he chuckled packing chucking all his clothing into one bag and jamming them down hard to get the zipper shut.

“And…ugh, Wayne wants you back?”

Dick paused not meeting his roommate’s eyes, picking up his half-finished essay and focusing on the title ‘Identifying Abuse’, he didn’t know why he chose to take psychology this semester. He hated it and could never concentrate properly without thinking about how any disorder described himself or Bruce. He sighed and just tossed his notebook into his bag; he could worry about his schoolwork later. He had to survive Christmas first.

“Yup, I’m one in a million and everyone wants me,” he winked at his roommate and the other boy began to blush furiously. Dick snickered, one too many drinks last month and he had kissed the other boy. He didn’t know why at the time, he just wanted to feel something from anyone that wasn’t pain and he had a suspicion Wilson might have a crush now.

“You don’t read the news much do you Grayson…”

Dick paused a moment but didn’t say anything. He knew exactly what Wilson was implying and he couldn’t go there. He had been ignoring it the last two months and wasn’t going to acknowledge it until he had to.

He picked up his phone and glanced at his messages, Bruce refused to answer back. He stared intently at his message he had sent three months ago when the story was fresh and he couldn’t check his email without seeing it breaking.

“I saw the news today. Who is Jason Todd?”

There was no reply just another message from Dick a few days later after an older boy had invited him to a bar and he had taken his first real drink. He didn’t remember that night, this was the only evidence it had happened at all after the bruising lining his neck had faded and the shame left realizing he would never remember his first sexual experience.

“Am I being replaced?”

No reply. He did get a call from Alfred who had tried assuring him that wasn’t the case and Bruce was taking legal custody of this boy because his mother was incapable, but the nagging feeling didn’t leave him. Was he being replaced? Bruce wouldn’t give him a straight answer. Bruce wouldn’t even answer the phone when he called to wish him happy birthday the month before, the message had to go to Alfred. 

;

Dick rushed through the airport, mobs of people not paying him much attention. It was the holiday rush, and it was impossible to find your way around. Dick kept his composure through the crowd, ducking around the hoards of people. He was annoyed he had brought in a carry-on sports bag but due to the amount of people on his flight, it got stuffed into baggage anyway. He ducked under a businessman’s fist as he screamed at someone over the phone and finally found baggage claim.

He was beyond annoyed realizing his bag had been misplaced somewhere and all his clothing were now missing. He tightened his grip on his backpack straps, well lucky for him the important stuff was on his person. His laptop, schoolwork and his pouch that had been designed to hide what was left of his Robin gadgets from any security system. He sighed, that meant the school uniform he was wearing was the only outfit he had on him and that was not suitable for the snow falling outside. The light dress pants and school blazer was fine for the cool California weather, but he was dead outside in Gotham. His favorite jacket he was looking forward to pulling on was lost forever. 

His phone began buzzing from his pocket and he pulled it out ducking under a small family and narrowly avoiding being struck by a running man as he answered.

“Hey Alfie,” he huffed skidding around a group of teens running the opposite direction, “No I’m almost there. My bag got displaced it seems and I don’t want to bother complaining, it’s a nightmare here.”

Alfred chastised him for not bothering to even ask about his missing bag, but it didn’t matter that much. Nothing that important was lost. Just a few pairs of cloths that probably weren’t that appropriate for Gotham weather. Even his favorite jacket he stole off Wally last time he saw him (it had been too long and too many texts left on read) wasn’t thick enough to keep the chill away. 

He hissed loudly running out the door and being hit by a strong gust of wind. He forgot how cold it was here compared to California. He tightened his arms around himself while he waited for Alfred to pull up, but it would be a minute due to the high amount of traffic.

From the corner of his eye he caught an older man the same build and height as Bruce. He couldn’t help but stare, he hadn’t seen that many men who could measure up to his dad. The man was so like Bruce yet so different. White hair instead of black, bright orange faux leather instead of Bruce’s normal sleek black genuine leather, an eye patch and an ugly scar on his left face instead of Bruce’s clean face. It was the build and the heavy stare that made them so similar, the man had the same look Batman had when he was watching a target. Their eyes met briefly, and he gave Dick a smile, the smile of a predator finding his prey. Dick turned away from him spotting Alfred and immediately rushed to meet him. 

“Master Richard you are hardly dressed for the weather,” Alfred immediately scolded as he slid in the passenger seat and smiled brightly at him.

“I missed you too Alfie,” he said cheerfully yanking the old man into a tight hug that was returned nearly as tightly.

“I am glad you will be returning home,” Alfred said in the lightest voice he had ever used, “And I shall see to it you shall be staying here.”

Dick smiled knowing that was a nice lie to live in for a short time.

;

Dick remembered the first time he had walked through the entrance of Wayne Manor and nothing had changed since then. It was always going to be grander than he deserved, large enough to make him small and he knew he didn’t belong just the same as when he was eight.

He had always been an amazing showman though and smiled widely despite his fears, throwing his hands up and letting out a content sigh.

“Its good to be home,” he said loud enough for it to echo around the empty stairway as he began his trek up Alfred close behind him.

“Inside voice, master Richard,” Alfred stated firmly staying close behind him making Dick’s insides squirm. He knew Dick was hiding a long list of insecurities behind his smile and didn’t want them to manifest themselves onto the new boy if he appeared.

“I thought this loser was banned to boarding school.”

Dick paused, hand gripping his doorknob. Alfred protectively placed his hand on his shoulder and tightened his grip.

“Now Master Jason, that is no way to address your new sibling,” he stated firmly in the voice that meant arguments weren’t permitted. Dick took a deep breath, show time. He had a cheeky smile on by the time he turned around to meet the glaring boy.

He was nearly the same height as Dick but he had a baby face on him that indicated he was a few years his junior. A younger model who would surpass the older in height and width soon enough, he vaguely recalled a few disappointed stares at how little he ate from Bruce. His smile stayed in place despite his stomach turning.

Always the showman.

“Hey little bro, sorry I couldn’t help you get used to the new lifestyle,” he said everything in an easy way. In his head he was screaming, why was this brat looking at him like that? Sneering at him like he didn’t belong? It was this bastard who didn’t belong.

(Lies, lies, lies)

“Whatever, Bruce will just kick you out again before you can break your stupid act,” Jason sneered at him skidding on his heals and walking a few doors down to his room.

Alfred sighed giving Dick a reassuring squeeze of the shoulder before disappearing to have one of his talks with the other boy. Dick said nothing walking into his room and locking the door behind him. His smile faltering looking around at his old room, not a thing was out of place. It was like a monument to his youth, a fresh prepared memorial for someone not gone yet.

;

Dick found he couldn’t take laying in his bed around midnight. He hadn’t left his room since he got here, Alfred had invited him to dinner but he feigned sleep. He brought him a tray up later while Dick was showering but Dick had yet to touch it. His insides tightening, Bruce hadn’t been in to see him. He couldn’t stay at work all night.

He was in the bathroom typing furiously into his laptop, his gadgets spread around him, he was hoping to sneak into the cave and steal a few items while he was home. He just had to get past Bruce’s security first. He smiled as he finally cracked in, not into the worst of the security but he got into the cameras. It was something for now.

He found Bruce sitting at the computer and a longing hit him, he wished he could just go down and greet him. That would cause a fight and that was exactly what Dick was trying to avoid right now though.

He found the melancholy hitting him hard, he was about to shut his computer, but something stopped him. 

“The old Robin is upstairs pouting in his room,” Dick grit his teeth at the little shit’s tone. How dare he. How dare he talk about him like that.

Bruce just grunted, not even attempting to defend him against the new boy. He just kept typing into the batcomputer.

“He’ll come around, just give him time,” was all Bruce said, turning a smile to the boy.

“Do you want to patrol tonight?”

Dick felt something in him finally break as the boy gave Bruce a large smile before sprinting off to the dressing area and coming back moments later in HIS suit. He finally let the tears fall and cut off the volume not wanting to know what they were saying, just paying attention to the clear affection Bruce gave his replacement as he pet his hair like he had done to Dick before he failed.

He finally shut the computer and pulled his legs close to himself and finally let the tears he had refused to let fall for over a year.


	2. Chapter 2

It was three in the morning and Dick Grayson wasn’t where he was supposed to be and couldn’t find it in himself to care. He had dismounted the upstairs security temporarily to sneak out his window without a soul being the wiser. He had taped a voice transmitter to the bathroom wall and if his glove informed him anyone entered his room, he would call out from it acting like he was in there.

He huffed, no one was going to check in on him.

He was near the docks far away from the safer patrol routes Bruce would take a newbie on and was looking for something. A reason to feel anything, he wasn’t about to get drunk living with detectives again, but he could swing from the roof tops again. He still wasn’t exactly dressed for the weather, but two sweatshirts and a pair of old sweats he dug out of his closet were good enough to keep frost bite down. He couldn’t fathom what had happened to his old winter clothing, maybe Bruce was hiding it from him to keep him locked up before he could get rid of him again or maybe the new kid took them. It wouldn’t seem too off the mark; he already took HIS title and legacy from him.

He sat with his legs hanging over the side of an abandoned warehouse and brought up his holograph screen. He hummed to himself, swiping a few times and noting his old locator was in a wealthy side of town, unlikely to run into trouble. Another swipe and he found Bruce’s locator; he was five miles away from his location. He got up and stretched his limbs before making his way down the building. He thought about it a moment, why did he care if Bruce found him out here? It would force him to confront his problems and tell him to his face he wasn’t wanted. 

(He was a coward, he couldn’t take it, he hid instead)

He leisurely strolled around the docks; they were dead tonight. No boats on the harbor, well none that were in working condition anyway. He moved towards one of the few docked jet skis and raised his eyebrow at the claw marks disfiguring its sides.

If he had to guess, it was the work of killer crock. He took a moment to check the inmate list in Arkham and frowned seeing he was still secure there. Maybe it was the result of a previous wreckage.

“If you will believe it, insurance doesn’t cover mutant crocodile attacks not even in a town like Gotham.”

Dick tensed swiping quickly to shut down his holograph before turning defensively towards the voice. His eyes widened; he had seen this guy before. He had seen him earlier at the airport. He only got a quick glance at him then but there weren’t many people who rival Bruce’s large build with white hair and an eye patch. He wasn’t someone who could easily blend into a crowd and not immediately be identified by anyone who got even a brief glance at him.

He was wearing the same orange faux leather jacket from before and seemed just as under dressed as Dick himself had been at the airport. Jeans and leather weren’t known to protect against freezing weather. Dick took a step back and took in his options, diving into the bellow zero temperature of the river or trying to duck around the massive man and hope he was faster.

The man just snickered, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. His jacket had risen enough momentarily to give him view of the gun hooked to his belt. His face glowed briefly as he lit up his cigarette lighting his face up enough for Dick to make out his white stubble in the dark and take in a light scar on his left cheek.

“Relax, kid, I didn’t come here for you.”

Dick didn’t relax, his eyes flicked down to the large hunter knife clipped to the opposite side of the gun. If he was fast enough, he could snatch it and use it to defend himself if things got ugly. He was defenseless as he was, he had no armor and his computer skills weren’t going to help him in a fight.

“Don’t get me wrong, your presence is fine, but I didn’t come here for the original and superior Robin.”

Dick opened his mouth but shut it, he was baiting him. He wasn’t in uniform; he was in civilian clothing. He just stared at the man, he needed to make his move before he ended up in a fight. He could tell by the man’s build alone he wouldn’t come out of this one unscathed.

“Don’t worry,” he snickered brushing past Dick without attempting to grab him, “I won’t tell the Bat I saw you. I’m just here to collect a few things from my boat.”

Dick didn’t know why but he didn’t leave, just watched the man as he dug through the storage and pulled out a large, sheathed sword and strapped it to his back and a pack of bullets was pocketed before he sighed shaking his head.

“There is no honor among thieves in this town, little bird,” he chuckled to himself digging under the seat and giving an unsavory look to a rubber chicken he pulled out.

“Should I be stopping you?”

Dick’s eyes hardened as the man broke out into a laugh.

“Not tonight, little bird, afraid I was hired for good this month.”

A mercenary then Dick decided, it was better than a full-on super villain but the fact he recognized him in civilian clothing made him dangerous on his own. He wrapped his arms around his chest as Gotham’s winter finally won its battle over his mind. It had been almost soothing moments ago, better then the fear of abandonment but now it was overwhelming. 

He startled as the man lightly draped his large jacket over Dick’s shoulders and it swallowed him whole. It must have been specially designed like his old uniform with thermal heaters because it felt like being wrapped in an electric blanket.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about what I’m doing tonight,” he said with an almost comforting smile as he slipped a new cigarette between his lips and took a sharp inhale. Dick frowned as the smoke was rudely blown into his face but he said nothing, tightening his hold on the jacket making the man laugh.

“I needed to grab a few things from my last stakeout here then I’m headed to West Gotham, would you like a ride?”

Dick raised his eyebrow at him.

“Do you think I’m that dumb to get in the car with an armed mercenary?”

The man just chuckled at that but didn’t argue.

“If you get bored little Robin and feel like making sure I’m on my best behavior, I’ll be guarding the Montgomery Estate.”

Dick snorted at him but didn’t exactly decline his offer, it was true he didn’t have anything going on the three weeks he would be stuck here and it wasn’t like Bruce was going to spend enough time with him to know if he’s in his room or not. He watched him leave carefully before checking Bruce and the replacement’s locations again.

He needed to head home, replacement was heading there, and Bruce wasn’t far behind. He needed to take another route then his normal due to Bruce’s close proximity to his, but he would get home just fine. 

;

It was ten in the morning when Dick jumped awake to a light tapping on his door. He jumped up immediately and called he had just gotten up. He hadn’t changed from last night and he was panicking. He attempted to yank off the man’s jacket before the door opened but it was too late.

He had expected Alfred but was gawking dumbly at Bruce instead, he had a hand on his jacket sleeve and Bruce was staring at it as well.

“I’m sorry chum, I forget how cold it gets up here, I should have asked Alfred to heat your room up more before you got here.”

Dick nodded dumbly, yeah, of course. The cold. He almost burst out laughing at his luck but couldn’t find it in him staring dumbly at his dad for the first time in six months.

Bruce sat on his bed and Dick nervously mirrored the action.

“Alfred told me you had lost your luggage, but it seems like you saved one jacket in your carry on.”

Dick smiled awkwardly at that, yeah, carry on. He shrugged.

“It was Clark’s,” he lied easily enough.

“Clark always had terrible taste.”

There was an awkward pause that lasted for an eternity, Dick wanted to start small talk, wanted to demand answers for why he was ignoring him, he wanted to say so much but said nothing instead.

Bruce cleared his throat after a minute, he clearly had things he needed to say to but said nothing.

“Alfred says brunch will be served soon and wants you to get dressed.”

Dick gave him a wan smile and nodded before Bruce got up and left. Dick tossed himself backwards on the bed as soon as the door closed and grabbed a pillow, smothering it against his face. He stayed like that for several minutes before getting up and dressed. He found himself slipping on the man’s jacket again liking its heavy feel.


	3. Chapter 3

With Christmas only a week away, Alfred had suggested for Dick and Jason to get out of the house for a little while and dropped them off at Gotham’s shopping district. Dick suspected it had been an excuse for them to bond while Bruce was at work but so far, his efforts were in vain, Dick and Jason had split apart without a word to the other as soon as Alfred was out of eyesight. 

He stood outside the old City Hall; it was four blocks down from Gotham’s massive shopping mall Alfred had dropped them off at. A chill ran down his spine, this is where Two Face had led him that night. But instead of being run down like it had been that night seven years ago, it was cleaned up and someone had turned it into a tourist trap.

Admission: $20, the sign out front read but Dick ignored it staring up at the arched roof and large gargoyles perched along the roof of the massive building. The roof had been fixed after that night, Dick knew, but it was always difficult imagining the building in one piece and without the collapsed ceiling. There was a new banner arched between two of the gargoyles (the nylon ropes loosely around their necks making Dick’s heart speed up remembering the nooses from the night) ‘House of Evil: Where Harvey Dent Fell and Two Face was Born’.

He had heard second hand from Barbara they had been turning infamous locations where Batman fought his foes into tourist traps, but he had never felt curious enough to seek them out. It felt…was there ever going to be a word accurate enough to describe how disrespectful it was to charge money for people to visit sites where horrific things occurred? There was turning Mount Justice into a tourist trap and then there was celebrating a mass murderers’ crimes. Dick supposed that was the big difference between Gotham and other Super homes, Gotham sold itself as a freak show, not a haven.

This one was new, this one was personal, this one piqued his interest unlike the others. He had known about plenty of them, but this was one of the few that held any semblance of truth. Dick had been here that night when Harvey officially died and had almost taken Robin with him.

He had plenty of money, endless maybe, Bruce was a lot of things, but he always made sure those under his care had enough money. A twenty was just a drop in the bucket and maybe Dick was curious what had become of the old courthouse. He walked through the door easily just a normal tourist who hadn’t almost died here and approached the old woman sitting at behind a caller window. He paid with Bruce’s credit card and smiled at the woman’s large eyes seeing the name on it.

“I have my school ID if you need proof,” he chuckled easily but she just shook her head handing back the card.

“If you managed to steal from that man or his family without being shot by private security, you would deserve a free tour of the building.”

He chuckled at that; he had heard rumors people weren’t fond of Bruce despite his philanthropy, but this was the first time he had heard someone speak about him with such a bitter tone. He briefly feared he would become so bitter talking about his own dad (he hated himself for the thought). She swiped the card easily enough and at the option of donating to the museum, Dick shrugged and said Bruce would be cool with dropping a thousand on the attraction. By the old woman’s face, she knew as well as Dick did that, he wouldn’t be ok with dropping any money on this house of oddities, but Dick felt a little petty.

He let the sleeves of his large jacket slide over his gloved hands before bunching them in his pocket. It was just as cold to him as it was that February night despite the functioning heater the building had now. 

He walked past wax recreations of various plots Two face had been up to and a loose retelling of Harvey Dent’s origins before pausing at upstairs at a mannequin of the hung judge. Bloody handprints and a bloody bat on the ground. There was a brief synopsis of the scene on a plague, Two Face killing a revered judge and attempts to murder Robin. The details of this encounter are unknown, but many suspect Robin died and was replaced after this encounter.

“It’s crazy the shit they will put up.”

He returned to the present and turned his head to find Barbara Gordon standing next to him, frowning at the hung judge. Dick gave her a low chuckle.

“How did you find me?”

She gave him just as smug of a smile pulling out her phone and playfully wiggling it in front of his eyes. He smiled pulling out his own phone and flicking the lock screen off, he had a new message and he pulled it open.

‘Your system is shit, wonder boy, too easy to get into’

He snickered loudly, the first genuine laugh he had in so long. It echoed across the museum and made the few people there glanced at him with questionable looks.

“You got into my computer too then?”

She gave him a sly look and he shook his head walking away from the house of horrors and heading for the gift shop.

“Your system is alright,” she admitted with a shrug, “But the firewalls aren’t strong, and I picked up on it last night while I was digging through the Bat’s systems.”

“You think Bruce noticed me?”

“Nah,” she said with a shake of her head, “You should grovel at my feet for that gift.”

“Best Christmas Gift a boy can ask for, I promise to get you something just as amazing.”

She snorted at him watching him picking up a mug with an amused smile before grabbing another with just as much amusement. Bootleg Batman and Robin merch with questionable depictions of them were like catnip to him, he had been collecting and hiding bad super merch for years.

Barbara gave him an odd look watching him purchase the bad mugs with out of portion images of both Batman and Robin on each one. Batman’s cowl was funny enough sky blue on his mug and Robin’s colors were wrong, mustard yellow tunic and sea green leggings.

Barbara snatched them from him as soon as he checked out not allowing the cashier to wrap them or bag them.

“My dad just might be Batman,” she raised her eyebrow sliding the mug to the clerk before reading the other out loud and doing the same, “Who says I can’t be Robin?”

“Hey, my dad just might be Batman,” he snickered taking the bag and turning somber as they exited the building out the gift shop exit, “And I should damn well be Robin.”

He said the second part under his breath and didn’t expect Barbara to catch it over the bustling crowds.

“You should,” she agreed softly giving him a tight side hug before pulling him out of the crowd and into a secluded alley.

“I know what you have been up to,” she said simply, “I’ll help fix your system, you don’t have to be completely alone, you idiot.”

She glanced at her wristwatch and sighed.

“I need to head back to Campus, but I wanted to catch you while you were away from Bruce.”

She slid him a computer drive and winked.

“I’ll be at the old church tonight, midnight, meet me there and we’ll talk more but fix your damn security till then.”

He smiled down at the drive in his palm and pocketed it before disappearing into the crowd and heading back to the shopping district before he was missed.

;

The old Church was in Crime Alley, a nasty side of town that was only inhabited by those who had no other choice. It was where Robin had first met Batgirl three years ago, it was during a Riddler case.

First is the last. Last is the first. You are in the middle. What am I?

That had been left on a body hung in front of Wayne Tower, it had been deciding what Church that was the problem not the riddle itself. Dick had to guess this one located in the center of Crime Alley, it was near the old theater the Wayne’s had been shot.

Barbara the wonder she was, had diffused the bomb before Dick had nearly run into the trap. They still laughed about it, Barbara, the closest thing he had to an older sibling and she would always protect him from his mess ups.

It had been their normal meet up since then.

Barbara Gordon, not Batgirl, was waiting for him on the steps leading up to the boarded-up door. She was wearing thick winter gear but still shivering as the snow fell around them. Dick gave her a small wave and she gave him her normal smug smile, rising gracefully from her spot and they both began walking in the opposite direction of the church. They walked another block before coming up on a run-down apartment building, bored up and condemned after an explosion of Joker Toxin had taken fifty lives here five years before hand. For the life of him, Dick didn’t know why they kept the building up, but it had been an excellent spot to set up a safe house Bruce didn’t know about for Batgirl and Robin to meet in secret when they felt the need to. 

They went around the back and climbed up the fire escape and slipped through a window, locking it behind them. The power still worked, and the electric heater helped keep some of the cold out. Dick sat on the loveseat and Barbara took the lazy boy next to it.

The bathroom was stocked with medical supplies in case it was ever needed and there was food in the kitchen. Not the nicest apartment to stay in, stains on the carpet, gaudy furniture and yellow stained peeling wallpaper but it was good if you needed somewhere to crash. Barbara kept the place stocked and he knew she had always used it more then the cave during patrols. If Bruce had been against Dick being Robin, he was really against the commissioner’s daughter dressing in his image and doing as she pleased. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Barbara began, and Dick just snickered knowing where she was going as her eyes were on the jacket he had been wearing.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a military dog tags hanging from a metal bead chain. He had found them that morning while getting dressed, he had missed the zippers inside the jacket the night before but inspecting it thoroughly, they were easy to find. He found the dog tags and a few stray bullets. Dick wasn’t stupid, he knew the man was baiting him. He gave him his location and made sure Dick knew who he was looking for.

Barbara frowned at the tags flipping them over on her palm and calculating every detail to memory.

“Slade Wilson.”

Dick nodded and she frowned passing the tags back before pulling out her computer and getting to work.

“Meet him in Jump?”

“Nope. I think he’s been assigned to keep an eye on me, it can’t be coincidence I found him last night and ever stranger he was at the airport when I got here too.”

She nodded and turned a profile to him, an orange and black mask stared back at him on top of the page and bellow that image the man he saw last night.

“That’s him.”

“Bruce has been a real pain in the ass here lately, I feel like I’m fighting him more then criminals when I go out, but I have a spot on the team now.”

Dick nodded it made sense she would take up with the team while Bruce was playing overprotective dad with the partners he had once trusted. He felt a strange relief knowing Bruce wasn’t just treating him this way but Barbara as well. 

“Why is he letting the new kid out at all if he doesn’t want us,” Dick grumbled, and Barbara just shook her head.

“I have my theories, but Bruce has shut down completely since that night. I don’t think he’s even letting Alfred in on his thoughts.”

Dick just nodded, he remembered how Bruce had been shutting down on him, tuning him out the second he woke up from his drug induced coma. He felt the ghost pain from his chest, he had been so lucky that night, he should be dead. He had been hit inches away from his heart and according to Leslie, he had flatlined three times that night. Dick felt like he hadn’t been resurrected at all the way people had been treating him, he felt like he was the only one who wasn’t aware Dick Grayson was dead yet.

“Babs? Can I ask you something?”

She stopped typing and just nodded staring at him intently, she stared at him guiltily and for the first time ever he was seeing her raw emotions.

“How come you never answered my texts? I promise I wasn’t going to force you into helping me go behind Bruce’s back…”

He gulped down his emotions and just stared numbly at his hands, why did everyone ignore him. All his friends, Barbara, Wally, Roy, they all left him on read. Cutting him out the same as Bruce.

“I know that,” she whispered pulling him into a hug and tightening until he felt the tears falling again.

“We weren’t ignoring you, we love you, but I think Bruce is trying to cut us out that’s why I had to sneak to see you while you were out today. Every single time I tried to contact you; it wouldn’t go through. It wasn’t until you set your phone to your new system I was able to contact it at all.”

Dick just clung tight to his friend and they stayed like that for an eternity just listening to the wind blowing. He never wanted to leave the safe house again, he wanted to stay alive here and not go back to being the ghost haunting Bruce. He couldn’t abandon his dad though, he couldn’t.

After those long tense moments, the two went back to work, vowing to not tell Bruce anything they discussed here or what they were up to. They were going to solve this case alone and Bruce was going to understand they weren’t expendable. Dick Grayson wasn’t dead and Dick was going to make him see that.


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe a part of him wanted to be caught by Bruce, he wanted to hear his reasons and he wanted to talk about their issues in a healthy manner instead of going behind each other’s backs. Dick wanted so desperately for that to be a characteristic Bruce had, someone who was easy to understand and talk things through with. He wasn’t though.

Maybe Dick was openly contacting an old classmate to get closer to a mercenary while sitting with his family watching television just because he wanted to walk on a razor’s edge. Do something he wasn’t supposed, daring Bruce to ask what he was up to and not planning on being open about his pain. 

“Do we have to watch the News?” replacement sneered from the armchair across from Dick’s own.

“I just want to catch the stock reports then we will put on the movie like I promised,” Bruce responded from the large, curved couch, he was close to Dick, close enough to glance over and see him texting Barbara. He dared him to do it, but he didn’t, his eyes sharply set on the numbers on the TV.

Babs: Greg was always star struck by you, he will take the bait.

Dick wasn’t as sure but didn’t immediately text back instead switching back to Facebook and raising his eyebrow seeing Greg had messaged him back in seconds. He was ecstatic Dick had finally chosen to contact him and was already rambling about how Dick must come over and catch up with him.

Dick: fish is taking the bait.

Babs: were you doubting me?

“Chum, did you choose a movie?”

Dick put on his sweetest smile, sliding his phone into his pocket. He was a good boy who would never disobey orders, he was graceful walking across the room and humming loudly as he stared at the wall full of options. What would annoy replacement the most without it being completely obvious Dick was being petty? 

“Family time always calls for a Disney movie,” Dick sang making replacement groan loudly in complaint.

“Bruce do not let him play family friendly bull---” he was cut off by Alfred’s glare as he entered the room. 

“I think its lovely Master Richard wants to enforce more family friendly content on you,” Dick kept his devilish laughter to himself, he called it. Replacement was one of those who despised media not full of explosions and blood shed and that meant he could really hurt his masculinity with princess movies. 

“Not Beauty and The Beast,” Bruce stated pulling out his own phone and beginning his own secret cases, Dick gave him a toothy smile.

“I haven’t seen you in over a year, why wouldn’t I force you to watch my favorite movie?”

Bruce groaned loudly but Alfred had just sat next to him and Dick had a devious smile while his back was turned, putting in the movie. Bruce despised this movie; he had been forced to watch it at least twice a day with Dick when he had first moved in and oh he could hear the groans. He could get used to being petty.

;

“Bruuuce,” Dick whined, he was eight again and curled tight next to his adopted father with no distance between them and no fears of abandonment, nothing but blind admiration for the man.

“Yeah chum?”

Bruce was stroking his hair as he huffed at him and only smiled brighter as he turned challenging eyes up at him.

“Why don’t you understand why the beast is a good person?”

“You’re a little young for this talk, chum, but Stockholm syndrome is a very real scenario for this situation.” 

Dick puffed his cheeks and tried to get up but his father held him comfortably, not letting him leave his warmth and protection.

“I just don’t think you understand Belle’s kindness doesn’t mean she is vulnerable. Belle would leave if she wanted to, but she doesn’t because he’s a good person, duh.”

Bruce shook his head but said nothing else as they watched true love break the curse for the fourth time that day.

;

Dick opened his eyes; his phone was buzzing and he was alone in the crawl space he had always taken to hiding in. He was outgrowing it he realized in dismay, the walls more cramped than they had been when he was eight but there was still plenty of wiggle room for him. Bruce would never fit in here and that is why he kept his strange trinkets and stollen gear here. 

He poured his stolen whiskey into his ‘I should be Robin’ mug and straightened his back against the narrow structure. He was sure this used to be a dummy waiter, it was large enough to fit a human in, but it seemed to have gotten stuck up here and then just abandoned. Dick had a small pile of pins, plushes and key chairs stacked in one corner of strange super merch he came across. He knew his friends and family found this stuff dumb, but he found amusement in the worst of it. He had nicked whiskey from one of Bruce’s unused mini bars and had hid it here as well.

After watching the movie with Bruce, he felt a deep sadness he couldn’t overcome. He had tried to let the constant insults towards the movie roll over his shoulders but there was something painful about Bruce taking replacement’s side and even turning on Die Hard before the movie was even over. He didn’t take Dick’s side. He had once watched that same movie over and over just because he loved him and now it felt like there was no connection to him. He was a guest to be tolerated and he would be gone soon.

He chugged the contents of his mug feeling the soothing buzz and checked his phone, he frowned an unknown number had texted.

Unknown: Not bad kid getting the boy I’m protecting to invite you to dinner on Friday, you must really miss me.

Dick knew he shouldn’t take the bait, but he felt dead inside and wanted to feel something, even regret or anger. Just anything.

Dick: It was easy, Greg has been wanting me to suck his dick since we were thirteen. It’s easy to manipulate someone who is too full of himself and thinks I would swoon for anyone.

Unknown: would you?

Dick: Wait and see.

He groaned tossing the phone, did he just blow his own operation flirting? Why was he even flirting? The guy was cute, but he was older than his dad for god’s sake. He drank more from the bottle and rested his head against the side wall.

He was drunk and he was in a house full of detectives and he was done for. He picked up his phone and just stared at the message.

Unknown: How fucked are you? Are you drunk while daddy is near? 

He shut down his phone and made his slow crawl back to his vent, luck was on his side. No one was there. Why did he expect anyone to check on him? He fell face first onto the bed.

;

Dick had been vomiting his guts out when he realized he made a big mistake: he left the bathroom door open.

He heard someone sneer and his head immediately shot up to see the replacement’s smug smile.

“Someone is hung over.”

Dick, always the show man, put on his best ‘I’m tired and sick but still want to be your friend’ smile.

“Stomach flu,” he corrected mildly rising gracefully and loving the way replacement bristled and glared. He already got what he wanted, why was he the one upset?

“Yeah and my mom must have been dying from the stomach flu.”

Dick’s surprise slipped and replacement used his temporary weakness to dig his nails into his open wound.

“Bruce might have cared about you before, you might have been Robin before but that’s me now and I won’t let you come in and take it back.”

Dick’s smile was more of a grimace, his act was cracking and maybe he didn’t care.

“If you think I will sit around and let you replace me, you are sorely mistaken,” Dick took a step forward and replacement took a hesitant step back, trapping himself against a wall.

“You can either learn to play nice and learn to play big happy family when in my presence,” he slammed his fist against the wall threateningly making replacement jump as Dick’s sharp eyes met his, “Or I vow, I will mop the floor with you and not leave a single tooth left in your mouth for you to pretend to smile at me with.”

He spat the words at replacement and was surprised he didn’t regret it, it felt good. He liked seeing someone else look distressed.

“Boys?”

Alfred must have seen Jason come in here and was coming to see the aftermath, Dick put on his award-winning smile spinning away from him. Jason hesitantly did the same as they stepped around the corner.

“I wasn’t feeling well, and Jay came to check on me.”

“Really?”

Alfred didn’t buy a single word and they both knew it but if they played it right, not a word would go to Bruce. 

“I think he has the stomach flu…” Jason said awkwardly looking nervously at Dick’s smile, maybe the shift in emotions was scaring him shitless. In Gotham, you just don’t trust someone like that and a kid like Jason knew it. Dick hated how much he secretly loved that.

“I’m sorry to hear that, I’ll bring some medication up for you Master Richard,” he gestured for him to get back in bed and Dick obliged willing, his head was pounding. He shouldn’t have drank last night and didn’t know what compelled him to. 

“Come along, Master Jason, we don’t want you becoming sick as well.”

Jason gave him a glare before leaving, he wasn’t giving up either. They both wanted to be Robin and they both wanted Bruce’s love and it seemed they were willing to take down the other to get it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick thinks of Talia and must convince Bruce to let him go to the party on Friday.

Dick was eleven and his entire world was upside down.

He was perched on one of the guardians atop the original Wayne Tower, it was breathtaking at any time of day but there was something about watching the smog clouds clear enough to reveal the fully wanned moon that felt magical. He had a foot hanging over the side, gently rocking and his head was staring awestruck up at the sky. He had never seen the stars so clear in the heart of Gotham before. He could stay here forever, maybe he could live right here on this very perch, maybe he sat here long enough in the cold he would freeze in place. His mind wasn’t making sense, but if he didn’t let his mind wander, it would be stuck in the facts.

The facts were hard to comprehend. He wasn’t Robin, Brue didn’t need him, and he was alone. He wasn’t homeless, yet, but he didn’t know if he could return to a home he wasn’t welcome or even wanted.

He scooted forward and rested his head against the Gargoyle’s and stared down to the vacant street. If he slipped, he wouldn’t survive. One tiny mistake on his part and his corpse would be unrecognizable from this height. 

He briefly thought of his parents’ death and bit his lip, it hadn’t been nearly this high. High enough to snap their spines and neck on impact but not high enough so they would unrecognizable. He always wondered what it would have been like that night if he had been permitted to do the final act with them like normal. His parents had found his warnings just paranoia on his part and told him last minute he should sit that show out. It had saved his life, but it left him with a what if he would always carry and think about at moments like this.

Had that death been meant for him? Did he just barely dodge that bullet?

“My heart, why are you out here?”

He didn’t expect to find Talia Al Ghoul standing on the walkway surrounding the guardians but he felt relief upon seeing her. He jumped up and easily made his way towards her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He would always love Selina Kyle, but Talia was special to him. She held him just like his dya always did and always knew how to read him, better then even Alfred could. She knew his act from his truth.

She kissed him on the tip of his head and the tighter he held her, the more his eyes widened. He squealed loudly in delight feeling the bump that had never been there before shift.

“You are pregnant!”

She hummed pleasantly in response and tightened her hold on him.

“Yes, my heart and that is why when I heard Bruce had carelessly tossed you to the side, I had to make sure he hadn’t harmed you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair.

“I love you and Bruce with my entire heart and I wish nothing more for all of us to be together.”

Dick said nothing holding her tighter, he never wanted her to leave again. He loved Talia Al Ghoul just as much as he loved Bruce and the thought of them having a baby made him excited!

“Why can’t you stay for good, Tal, we love you more then your father…”

She chuckled to that but he knew she would never hurt him intentionally by telling him outright her father was more important to her then even him. Dick wasn’t anyone’s world, he was just a part of everyone’s life, there would always be more important people.

“Would you come with me, my heart? Stay with me and let me take care of you? Far away from this horrid city.”

He wanted to tell her yes, he wanted it so much but said nothing. He didn’t know if he should just leave Bruce, even if he didn’t want him, what if he needed him? He felt his heart pounding, he remembered Bane and how he had nearly killed Bruce. How that other man tried to destroy his legacy of Batman. He clung tighter to Talia, he couldn’t leave Bruce.

“You want to stay and try to save Batman, my heart?”

He found himself nodding, glancing back towards the night sky seeing the bat signal flying and wondering what he should do.

“Very well, but I shall be keeping my eye on you, if beloved harms you again, I think I might take you for myself.”

He smiled awkwardly at her and they both sat down inside Gotham Tower’s immaculate lobby and enjoyed each other’s company for the moment. She told him how he could regain Bruce’s trust in his competence as Robin by taking down a small gang that recruited children. It wouldn’t be till later he would find it was connected to the league of shadows. 

He often thought of Talia’s threat and if she was watching him while he moonlighted on the streets of Jump City.

;

Dick was sixteen, he was hung over and he needed to talk to Bruce.

He paced his bedroom, no not about the things he needed to talk to Bruce about, he couldn’t tell him about those things. Those things were his weaknesses. He needed to ask permission to borrow one of his cars legally and with permission go to the Montgomery Estate for Gregory’s birthday party. He paced and cursed and paced and cursed. He needed a drink.

He needed to keep his head together, if he didn’t keep it together, Bruce would see through his smile. Bruce would know he was being deceitful. Bruce would know, Bruce would know and if he knew everything he would be beyond pissed.

He cursed Gregory for being born a week before Christmas, who the hell had birthday parties a week before Christmas? Gregory Montgomery, that’s who and he was the only way he was going to weasel his way close to Deathstroke. If he found out what he was doing, what he was really doing, he could stop him and if he stopped him, he could be Robin. If he could be Robin he would have purpose.

He locked the bathroom door and held back his scream. He took a deep breath, he vomited again and took a random bottle from his medicine cabinet. He paused and frowned at the prescription bottle; it was high grade pain killers. He would have assumed Alfred would have dumped these by now, they were over a year old from a wound that healed. He felt the phantom pains flair as his pulse continued to skyrocket, the wounds might heal but they liked to remind you of their presence sometimes.

He popped two and then decided to hell with recommended dosage and took four. He was finally able to breath resting against the bathroom door. He pulled out his phone.

He frowned seeing the assassin’s messages, he barely remembered saying that. He needed to stop. He put down the name as ‘Wilson’ and would simply say it was his roommate if Bruce ever found the contact.

He scrolled through Greg’s Facebook feed, about what he expected from a politician’s son. His dad’s campaign for mayor, lot of posts about war games, posts about Gotham’s Prestigious academy he attended (Dick felt envy, he wished he was allowed to). And he was already bragging to everyone who mattered Bruce Wayne’s son was still his best friend and coming to his party. He groaned, he really hoped Bruce didn’t already know.

Babs: if you are worried about Bruce, I can tell you, he doesn’t use social media.

He smiled, she was a seer that one, always knew everything and only said what she needed to at the right time.

D: Man lives in the stone age.

Babs: if he had it his way, Batman would be beating criminals with only a club to show off to everyone he was the biggest man in Gotham.

Dick snickered at that, taking a sip of tap water and splashing water in his face. He smiled, always the showman and always ready for the world that was his stage. He walked from his room with a lazy smile and playfully messed up replacement’s hair as he passed him on his way to the study. The brat was still terrified of him, he seemed genuinely more scared of Dick’s performance then the true him he had allowed him to take a peak at this morning. Good. A little fear wouldn’t kill him.

He didn’t knock, he had never done so before. He announced himself with poise and grace and a showman’s flair, tucking and rolling into the room and popping up like he was eight again. Bruce raised an eyebrow to him, but his smile wasn’t completely forced, there was nostalgia clinging to it.

“Alfred had told me you weren’t feeling well but you seem fine now.”

Dick smiled, sweet and innocent, not up to anything, no ulterior motive.

“I’ve always been good at hopping back on my feet, it’s the performer in me.”

Bruce chuckled but went back to his paperwork as Dick sat across from him at the desk. Three feet between them but it might as well have been a hundred, each pile of paperwork an obstacle to overcome if he wanted to speak truthfully. He couldn’t do that though, he would never survive that, pretty lies could make it across just fine. No emotions to weigh them down. 

“Some of my old friends have wanted me to visit while I was in town.”

Bruce’s stare could mean life or death, he had to be convincing. He could see the cogs turning in the man’s head, the suspicion was there.

“Friends from school, not any of his friends,” his alluding to Robin, Dick Grayson wasn’t Robin any longer. He was just the tomb Robin was buried in and Batman mourned at each time he looked at him.

“You were never close to your academy friends.”

He tipped toed across the land mines, gracefully spun around him with his award winning performance. The sigh, the eye drop, the sadness allowed to leak free.

“I wasn’t allowed to before but I feel as though I missed out getting to know them through Facebook and Twitter.”

He would cackle madly if it wouldn’t ruin the show. Bruce looked guilty, he wore his pain on his sleeve the pain of man who ruined a child and yet he wasn’t trying to analyze the pieces to find the real way to fix the issue here.

“When would you see them?”

“Friday Evening is my friend Gregory Montgomery’s birthday.”

Bruce was frowning now, pushing the stacks of papers aside to get a good look at Dick. Dick didn’t fidget, he stayed still and kept up his good boy act.

“His father is running for Mayor and is trying to shut down several of Wayne Industry’s foundations.”

Trap, trap, trap. He wanted him to admit he was up to no good, prying into some mystery he shouldn’t but he didn’t know what. Dick wasn’t going to slip. He put on his best surprised face and then pulled it into disappointment.

“You think I shouldn’t see my friend for political reasons?” he paused and gnawed his lip, “I won’t go if you don’t want me to, I really don’t want to harm your—”

Bruce stopped him and fell into Dick’s own trap, he was guilt-ridden and just wanted to make things right now. 

“Would you like Alfred to drop you off or would you like to borrow the Porsche?”

The Porsche? Really? Did Dick hit the jackpot, if he was offering his favorite car willingly he was at least trying to show a truce and maybe Dick should feel more guilty about taking advantage of it.

He didn’t though.

They settled on arrangements and Dick left the study feeling triumphant. Once he reached his room the guilt did rear its ugly head and he began pacing once more. He could only reassure himself it was for the best, he wanted to be back home. He wanted to be back in Bruce’s good graces and that had never worked in the past unless he was Robin.

If he wasn’t Robin, he just didn’t belong. He was the thing he hated the most, a charity piece only kept around out of sympathy. He didn’t want that. He wanted to be useful, if he couldn’t be loved, he could be that, right?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slade makes an offer.

Dick fumbled with his tie and frowned at his reflection. It didn’t look right. He tossed in favor of another and settled on the look. Pastel yellow suit, white under shirt and navy polka dot tie. Bruce often hated his choice in suits, colorful and bright, always standing out in a crowd of blacks and whites. Dick didn’t mind, he always felt he was meant to stand out in any crowd, he wasn’t born to blend in.

“I’m assuming I’ll never change your mind into wearing something less flashy.”

Dick playfully winked at Bruce as he turned around and Bruce hesitantly approached him, fixing his tie almost out of habit. He gently brushed his hair away from his eyes and sighed.

“I can’t convince you to let me trim it?”

Dick gave him a look that perfectly displayed his displeasure at that. He vowed to never allow Bruce to touch his hair again after the last time, he never wanted to see that beanie he wore for a month to hide the results again.

“Was it really that bad, chum?”

“Bad is your bangs, what you did to my hair was catastrophic.”

Bruce frowned examining his bangs in Dick’s large mirror, pinching the hair between his fingers and his face pinched in disgust seeing how uneven his hair was.

“You are the richest man in the world, try seeing a hair stylist for once,” Dick chuckled walking away from the mirror and sitting on the bed. Bruce sat next to him; he had a strange look on his face. It was somewhere between worry and suspicion. He still didn’t trust Dick wasn’t up to something.

He sighed finally and ran his fingers through his hair. He was hyping himself up, Bruce was a man of action and words were a foreign concept to him. Expressing those words into genuine human emotions was a herculean event for him. 

“You wouldn’t lie about why you are leaving, would you? You aren’t betraying your promise to me?”

Dick gave him the best kicked puppy look he could muster, staring at him with wide eyes. He even let a little bit of genuine hurt and anger creep through just for the spectacle of it all. Always the showman.

“Would you ever lie to me about your true intentions with Jason?” Bruce gave him a strange look that widened to surprise as he couldn’t hold himself back and continued.

“You would never lie about Robin being done and hide from me Robin is active with someone else behind the mask, right?”

While Bruce sat with his mind whirling with emotions, rendered speechless by his own sidekick for the first time ever, Dick flipped the switch. He placed an innocent kiss on Bruce’s cheek and smiled.

“I have to go, I’m gonna be late.” 

He dug his own grave and Batman would burry him in it when he got back but he didn’t care. He found lately it was hard to care about much.

;

Dick hadn’t driven in so long; it had been too long. His foot was lead pressed against the accretor and the radio was blaring. He felt something, for the first time in months, he felt something. He skid on the icy road and nearly lost control. He defied death, truly defied death on the winding mountain highway and just barely managed not to swerve into a semi as the strong wind blared against the Porsche and his speed kept rising.

He let out a cackle and knew this smile wasn’t a lie as he jumped out of the car and allowed the valet to park his car for him in front of the manor. He told Bruce to his face he knew what he was doing with the replacement and he felt liberated.

He felt his phone buzz and checked his message.

Babs: you’ll be pleased to know, I set off enough alarms in Arkham to keep the paranoid Bat there the rest of the evening.

D : Maybe while he’s there he should get that paranoia checked out.

Babs: Shock therapy is ineffective on that man; I’ve seen him electrocuted enough to tell you from experience. Comm check?

Dick taped twice against his earpiece before he rang the doorbell, waiting for the greeting.

“Testing, batgirl to birdbrain, do you read birdbrain?”

He hummed loudly and annoyedly just before the doorman greeted him and Barbara’s snicker was enough to let him know she was heard. They walked through the lavish hall and up a stairway to the ballroom. While the manor didn’t rival Wayne Manor in décor and history, it definitely dwarfed it in size. Bruce had told him once that many manors on the outskirts were larger than their home but he didn’t exactly believe him until now. It felt more like walking into a massive museum that hadn’t yet fully stocked themselves on art then a home. Everything was white and empty, why bother with all the space if you were going to settle on minimalism? 

“Eerie isn’t it?” 

He titled his head and glanced around for cameras but didn’t see them hidden among the marble Greek pillars lining the walls.

“You don’t see them, but someone put up a top-notch security system here. I’m guessing your target would have had to if he was hired to protect this family.”

He followed his guide through another hall and finally they had found life. A few guests were lounging on the chairs and fainting couches lining this hall leading to the ballroom. Did they have an entire floor dedicated to parties only? Mr. Montgomery was the type to show off his house, he supposed.

“Keep your eyes open. Someone invited me into the network. Wilson not only knows we are here but is too willing to share with us. I don’t trust this, Dick.”

Dick already knew this, people like Slade Wilson didn’t let you see him unless he wanted to be seen. Dick wasn’t stupid, why were all of Wilson’s actions lining up this perfectly to his arrival in Gotham? He was playing with fire, no scratch that. Playing was just getting too close but knowing when to back off. He was walking directly into a burning building he saw someone light on fire and not caring if he died in the inferno. 

Walking into the ballroom, he was immediately grabbed by the birthday boy himself. Greg had gotten tall since the last Dick had seen him, he was a foot over him and his baby fat had turned into pure muscle. He wrapped Dick into a tight hug and began talking his ear off about how much he had missed him.

Dick looked past Greg towards his actual reason for being here. Slade Wilson was hanging close by Greg’s father, black and white classic tux that looked wrinkled. He stood out in the crowd even without bright colors. A man over six foot, ripped like the terminator in a tux that looked a size too small on him clinging to him. His white hair was slicked back neatly juxtaposing the way he was dressed. He must not be used to suit and tie affairs, likely borrowed a suit from his host. Dick snickered realizing they matched in attire right down to the bow ties they wore.

Greg dragged him from the party to a room on the floor filled with old arcade machines and they played a round of street fighter together before Slade arrived then it was time for business.

;

He allowed Slade to lead him away from the game room despite Greg’s loud protests. It was urgent business the bodyguard assured the boy, but he was complaining loudly, and Dick only rolled his eyes once the door was shut.

“You know how to capture hearts; I will give you that. All that boy has done since you contacted him is talk about how much he missed you.”

Dick shrugged to that and let a lazy smile settle.

“Is it my witty banter or my money that lures them in?”

Was it him who had a stalker or was he collateral to get to Bruce? The mercenary laughed leading him past guests and up another set of stairs then towards a forked set of hallways they went left on. He was taking in details, there was an open bay window at the end of the middle hall. If he needed it, it was the fastest escape. 

Slade held his cards close to him for now, giving him a smug smile in reply to his earlier question.

There was an overworked maid putting clean sheets on a bed in an open bedroom they passed, if Slade tried anything screaming was an option. They were civilians now and his reputation would be ruined if anyone reported he had assaulted Bruce Wayne’s son.

And the biggest security he had was in his ear, she was narrating the path they took gently reminding him she was watching as well.

Slade opened the door at the end of the hall and Dick walked into what looked like a study. He took note of the needless amount of game beheaded and hung across the walls. An antler themed large throne behind the large polished oak desk. Slade took that seat happily while Dick sat at one of the southwest themed chairs in front of the desk.

“You’re in a blind spot, boy wonder, I can’t see you,” Barbara warned him.

He wasn’t surprised, Slade was flexing the fact he was in charge here. Dick needed to step cautiously or else he would end up in a similar position to the mounted trophies surrounding him. 

Slade reached under the desk and pulled out two glasses and a crystal bottle of something. If Dick had to wager, he would guess Whiskey. Slade poured some into each glass then slid a cup towards Dick who didn’t touch it even after watching the other man take a drink from it. 

“It’s not drugged.”

Dick hummed to that, but still didn’t touch it.

“Afraid I’m underage and driving tonight.”

Slade snickered at that but didn’t seem too troubled. He plopped his feet up on the desk and untied his bowtie tossing it aside. As Dick expected, he wasn’t the type who often dressed up. Popping the first two buttons open of the dress shirt Dick noted he came prepared, a bullet proof vest underneath the formal wear. 

“Never took you as the responsible type. Don’t think I haven’t heard of the times you flew off a speeding motorcycle to kick perps in the face.”

“Ah but see,” Dick said with a sly smile leaning forward on the desk and resting his head casually on his open hand, “I was dead sober then.”

Slade shook his head and set his eye on Dick like a hawk taking notice of an unprotected chick away from its nest. Dick didn’t pull his face from his lazy smile; he ran his finger across the glass. If he flew across the desk now, Dick swore he might not come out of this fight with his remaining eye. 

“What did you decide about me?”

Dick knew he was baiting, he had two options: accept it or bullshit his way off the hook. He waited a minute to hear Barbara’s opinion on the matter.

“Don’t trust him. Play it cool, act dumb.”

He hummed at the answer and circled the glass slowly with his fingertip. He was as dumb as anyone wanted him to be, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that was the wrong way to go around it. Slade’s eye was on him, waiting patiently, he was daring him to act dumb. He had left him a path of breadcrumbs to follow, it didn’t matter how well he bullshitted, he would know.

“I know about everything you want me to know,” he admitted lazily, watching the smile creep on the man. He had bit onto the hook and he better know how wiggle free when he reeled him in.

“You’re Slade Wilson, better known as Deathstroke the terminator, you are one of the world’s most dangerous men and you don’t normally take bodyguard jobs. Montgomery is rich but he is not your normal business partner. You have been my shadow since I arrived back at Gotham and I want to know why.”

Slade seemed satisfied with the answer, crossing one leg over the over on the desk and leaning back into the throne. Dick didn’t move, he had played his cards and now it was his turn.

“May I ask why you walked right into a trap?”

Barbara was demanding he leave, but his pride wouldn’t allow it. He walked into this willingly, without backup, without a single weapon and without a way out. He was playing on luck alone tonight and maybe he was dumb enough to think it was on his side. 

“If you were going to kill me, you would have that night on the dock or you had your chance at the airport or hell, the fact you knew where I was at all means you know who Batman is and you could have snuck in and killed me at anytime if you wanted that. I’m seeing what you are up to, nothing more. You, yourself, invited me to if I remember correctly.”

Slade’s smile could rival a shark’s at that moment and Dick was the stupid fish who wasn’t running away. He was the stupid fish who kept mouthing off to the shark staring him down, it could only be assumed he deserved whatever happened after this and Dick wanted anything to feel alive again.

“If you are just bodyguarding, why the hell do you keep baiting me? Might as well answer, I’m not leaving without one.” 

Slade didn’t answer right away, he drew out the seconds drinking from his glass and pouring himself another. Dick was glaring at him, growing impatient.

“I’ll admit, when I heard the bat had cast you aside, I was curious why. Then I saw his mockery of a replacement and I felt offended for you. What a waste of talent benching you for that.”

Dick just shrugged, don’t rise to that bait, that would make him a suicidal fish not just a stupid reckless one. 

“I don’t like talent being squandered like yours does.”

He rose to his feet and straightened up pacing around the desk towards Dick, placing his hands on the back of his chair. Dick didn’t turn his eyes to see him looming over him. He forced himself to stay in his casual position. He needed to be patient. If he struck too soon, if he showed an ounce of weakness, it would be his own undoing. He needed to wait for the opportunity to act. 

“And what? You want me to just drop the cape life and be a murderer like you? Hard pass.”

Dick felt Slade’s hands reach down and clasp his shoulders, not threatening, but almost reassuring. Like Bruce always did when he was stressing out and he attempted to get him to sit still and see the answer to the problem before him.

“Not a murderer, I wouldn’t force that on you, little bird,” he said gently, “I have a job coming up and I think you would be the perfect partner for me.”

Dick frowned, Barbara acted as his voice of conscious yelling for him to not take the offer, but she was cut off as Slade pulled the earpiece from his ear and turned it off before handing it to him.

“Not that I don’t trust Batgirl, but I’m sure you understand I don’t want this information getting back to the Bat himself.” 

Dick said nothing and Slade chuckled.

“Do you think she wouldn’t tell on you? Don’t put too much trust in others, the moment she knows how out of control you are, she will feel forced to tell someone.”

“I trust her with my life,” Dick stated firmly and he did, but that didn’t mean Slade wasn’t right. If Babs knew about the drinking or how many times he fell in bed with strangers, he wasn’t sure she would approve.

“Does she know you drunk text strangers to wait and see if you are easy? Do you think she would all for you being Robin if she knew it all?”

He didn’t say anything because he didn’t know. He steeled his expression and shot a dangerous look to Slade.

“If I can’t trust my family, why would I trust you?”

Slade chuckled and stepped away from him.

“You can’t.”

Dick watched him step towards the window, looking out it with his back turned to Dick. A bold and stupid move if he was playing mind games on anyone else. Maybe someone who didn’t vow to only use nonlethal blows would have sent him out that window.

“I’m not here to gain your trust, I think that would be the stupidest thing you ever did. No, I think you are smarter then that. I’m only here to offer you a way back into the cape community without needing daddy’s permission first. A way to not squander and waste such natural talent.”

“Why would you work with someone you don’t trust, seems pretty stupid to me.”

“In my line of work, kid, if you don’t have a back up plan to kill your partner before they kill you first, you are stupid. Never give something as precious as trust to business associates and that’s all I plan to be with you, kid.”

Dick didn’t say anything watching the man closely as he approached the desk once more and sat down heavily.

“I’m planning to disband the Light once and for all, I need someone like you by my side to complete this goal. If you accept, you will prove your worth to the entire community and Batman’s law will no longer stand with you.”

Dick didn’t answer, this just screamed trap to him, and he would be stupid to rush in blindly.

“I don’t expect you to answer right away. Let the offer sink in and give me your answer later. If you would like, you can even assist me in dealing with the mess here and if you think I am a capable partner, the offer is always open.”

Slade left shortly after that. Leaving Dick sitting there pondering his decision and if it was worth selling his soul to be a hero again. In the very least, he needed to keep a close eye on Deathstroke while he was here and not let him parade around the city unaccompanied. 

Dick decided he did need a drink after all and chugged it down, already plotting his next move.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's depression rose over the summer when he first learned Bruce took in Jason and in the present Dick hides from Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot summer break existed when making this story so fixing the time line! Gonna do very very light edits later to fix the timeline. Nothing will change except small details.

It was June, four months away from Dick returning to Gotham.

He was packing up his things for the summer, he had been feeling dead so long and just wanted to go home. He had been alone since September and had already spent Christmas and his 16th birthday by himself. He had just put the last uniform into his suitcase when he felt his phone going off in his pocket.

“Hey, Alfie.”

“I’m afraid something has come up; Master Richard and Master Bruce would like you to remain in Jump over the summer.”

Dick sat heavily on the bed and just stared at blankly at his own reflection from the dresser mirror. He attempted to ask why, he attempted to make a joke, he attempted to hold back the tears while his room mate was watching but did none of those things. Joey Wilson had paused packing his own bag and was staring at Dick as silent tears rolled down while Alfred explained to him his dad got him his own apartment just because he didn’t want to deal with him.

He didn’t explicitly say Bruce didn’t want him, but all the excuses why he could come home were adding up.

;

Dick hadn’t gone home after he left the party, he just drove around. Took the back roads not sure of the destination. He finally parked at an old park he vaguely remembered. It had seen better days; it was still a public area paid by the city officials, but no one had gone here since Ivy and her man eater plants three years back. There were vines of Ivy strangling the large entrance likely the only thing keeping the barely legible ‘welcome!’ sign towering. The chain length fence had fallen it seemed. Dick stepped out of the car and let his feet crunch against the snow, a shiver running up his spine. He should have brought his heavy jacket; he knew the snow had finely blanketed the city and the weather was bellow zero. His dress jacket would hardly save him from hypothermia. 

He should just go home but didn’t have the energy.

He laid on the hood of the car and watched the sun begin to rise, the sun making the snow glimmer. He was late and he was fucked no matter what he did. He felt his phone buzz, Alfred had called at midnight when he failed to show up. He glanced at the string of messages from Barbara but had yet to read them. She was not pleased he hadn’t given her an update. 

His phone buzzed and he glanced down at it.

Joey Wilson: You didn’t go home did you.

Dick didn’t answer back, watching the sun rise higher, there was so much to consider. How to handle Slade. How to handle Bruce. How to explain himself to Barbara and Alfred. Why he felt so dead, he was alive wasn’t he? He had a purpose, didn’t he? He wasn’t alone anymore or was he alone more than ever?

Joey Wilson: Coffee?

D: Where?

Dick was damned to his fate no matter what he did and he was gambling with his own life now. He wasn’t in control over what others felt, so what they did and didn’t do because of his actions was up to lady luck. Might as well rid himself of his head ache before handling them.

Joey Wilson: Not far, ten minutes from your location.

D: Did you hack into my phone’s location?

Joey Wilson: That and kept your family from finding you first, you are welcome.

Dick was playing a dangerous game but dancing with the devil himself was better then the apathy and numbness. He needed to feel something, anything. He needed to have a goal and purpose to plot and plan for. He couldn’t deal with the consequences of his own choices and challenges right now.

;

Not many sixteen-year-olds could proudly say they were living in a penthouse in California overlooking a private beach, but Dick wasn’t normal. Nor did this feel like a privilege, he felt like he was being punished. 

He sat on the balcony railing. He should be enjoying the sunset in paradise but he barely holding it together. His phone was pressed to his ear, listening to the ringing. Like normal, Bruce didn’t pick up. He looked down; it was a five-foot drop. It probably wouldn’t kill him, maybe break some bones but the sand might break his fall to not leave him cripple if he went over. He wondered if word would make it back to anyone. Who would that emergency call go to? He imagined Bruce but it would be handed to Alfred. Would Alfred just leave Bruce to his own devices long enough to see if he was alive? 

He sighed loudly rolling backwards, handstand and tuck and roll back through the open door. He hoped up and bowed to an invisible crowd. Why couldn’t that bullet have killed him? He would still be in Gotham, still at Wayne Manor with Bruce if that happened. Bruce would give his grave more attention than he was giving the living Dick Grayson now. 

He flopped on the sofa and turned on the large TV. He paused on some documentary on aquatic life. He didn’t know, he wasn’t paying much attention to the background noise. The narrator felt like someone in his life, not the most interesting person, but hey the dry British man was at least keeping him the bare minimum amount of company. He clicked between websites, scrolled through social media and felt isolated from everyone in his life who mattered. Barbara was going to France for a month. Wally and his family were camping. Roy hadn’t updated in over a year, who knows where he was. Artemis was still in Gotham, not many posts, but she was in a few pictures with Wally from last month.

He thought of messaging Wally, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to ruin his vacation, none of his phone calls ever went in, why should he make his vacation with people who loved him awkward? 

He was about to log off, maybe permanently, but something caught his eye. One of his old matheletes partners had posted a link. He slowly rose up, mouth ajar and hand shaking as he stared at it.

“Bruce Wayne, taking in new ward?”

Under the link was a comment from his old classmate, “What the hell is this about? I haven’t seen Grayson in months and Wayne is dragging a new kid around?”

Dick didn’t realize he was screaming until he came back to himself after he had smashed a decorative mirror with the remote he had thrown.

;

Dick sat at the café waiting for Slade to show up, it was seven in the morning and he was seven hours late. He stared blankly ahead of him at the flatscreen hung up, it was the morning news with Vicki Vale. He remembered meeting her when he was younger, Bruce had been sleeping with her, but he was sure it ended badly. All of his dad’s relationships ended badly.

His phone began buzzing and he glanced down at it, speak of the devil. Bruce was calling. It was almost funny how the tables had turned, Bruce wanted to know where the hell he was at but when Dick called wondering the same, it was ignored. Dick returned the favor, watching Vicki laugh at her co host’s joke and they moved on to the news. Dick turned his head away, glancing down at his phone.

Missed Call: Bruce

Barbara: Where the hell are you?! Pick up your phone!

Missed Call: Alfred (3)

Voice Mail (8)

He turned his phone off just in time to watch Slade finally show up an hour later then he had said.

“You waited for me to order?”

Slade had a smug look on his face as he sat opposite of Dick. Dick just shook his head, glancing up at a report on strange alarms going off in Arkham last night.

“Wasn’t waiting for you,” he grumbled, “I’m just not big on coffee.”

Slade shook his head fondly, “My son was always the same, hot chocolate it is then.”

;

There was a peer boardwalk Dick often found himself at. The crowds, the screams, the rides clanking, and the loud music were easy to get lost in. His thoughts got caught on the background noise and he didn’t have to think of the news articles popping on every news site and even breaking the news coverages all the way out in California. He sat on wooden railing, an untouched cotton candy in hand, watching the faces blend with the flashing lights. 

He watched the families happily grouped together, the loving fathers with their sons on their shoulders. He watched the groups of friends run by. He glanced over at the couple six feet away from him, whispering to each other through kisses.

He tore off a piece of cotton candy and tossed it behind him. He turned his head and smiled at the lone seagull who swooped down to snatch it.

“I know you,” someone said making his head turn and he gave his best smile. It was show time, life was a stage when people were watching, and he would only accept raving reviews.

“I have that kind of face,” he said playfully to the older boy. He didn’t know him and didn’t want to outright say it. If this guy wasn’t on a sports team, he should try out. He was nearly Bruce’s size but had a young face. Not quite a teenager, maybe early twenties? Platinum blonde hair that reminded him of his roommate from school, Joey Wilson. It wasn’t as fluffy; he was more of a sheered sheep compared to the younger boy.

“I don’t think many can be the Richard Grayson,” the boy chuckled leaning a little closer to him and bravely snatching a piece of his candy. Dick thought of saying something about it but didn’t. He offered him the entire thing instead.

“You got me,” he said cheekily, and the boy smiled lazily taking another piece of his candy and offering him a flask he pulled from his pants.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing alone?”

Dick gave him a strange look but didn’t take his offer of alcohol and didn’t rise to his bait. He finally just shrugged.

“People watching,” he said lazily watching a group of children run past their spot and rush to a ring toss game.

“Can I say something bold?”

Dick raised his eyebrow to him, “You’ve been nothing but bold since you approached me.”

“I think you are too good to be left here alone. You seem like someone to be in a starring role.”

Dick didn’t answer, he didn’t invite this man into his pity party and didn’t want his prep talk. He just watched the people. Staring longingly at everyone who belonged.

“You didn’t ask for my name,” the man stated boldly sitting next to him, hand resting against the back of the railing inches from Dick’s butt.

“You are correct, here’s your prize,” Dick handed him his cotton candy and hopped down from his spot. He wanted to go home and feel like garbage, at least he could avoid harassment there. 

The man was accepting his exit and grabbed his hand, Dick considered striking him, but thought better of it with all the children around them. He didn’t want to ruin their night too.

“Grant,” he said huskily and boldly placed a kiss on Dick’s clenched lips. He didn’t seem to mind Dick wasn’t interested and handed him a folded paper.

“If you get lonely, call me,” he said before walking off.

Dick crumpled the paper but still found himself pocketing the paper. 

;

Dick said nothing to Slade because he didn’t even know why he took his offer; it was just the better alternative then going home. He was being a coward.

“So, tell me about yourself kid,” Slade said leaning back, hand over the side of the seat in a cool casual way.

“What don’t you know already?” Dick grumbled taking a sip of his hot chocolate. It was good but it would never rival Alfred’s. He should have gone home when he was supposed to.

“Why do you stay? It can’t be easy watching yourself being replaced.”

Dick didn’t answer, staring at the Tv once more. He didn’t like being alone was the answer, he would do anything to not be alone. He wasn’t about to tell this man that.

“I like Gotham, interesting people, lovely weather, and can never forget this town’s history.”

Slade barked out a laugh at, Dick gave him a snicker as it echoed, and people began to stare.

“If you are going to lie, give a convincing one.”

“Lie? Me? Never,” Dick stated taking another drink, “I really do love Gotham because I’m insane.”

He had a certain attachment to things that hurt him, what could he say? He did like being in Gotham. Jump was beautiful, but purgatory would always be worse than Hell. 

“Alright, fine, favorite show,” Slade said with a crack of his neck.

“What is this? An interview?” Dick said tilting his head.

“Sure, we could think of it like that,” Slade said with a shrug.

“I love to Catch a Predator, great show, could see you starring in it.”

Dick gave a genuine smile at Slade’s genuine laughter. They began to small talk and it felt nice. No expectations, no acts, just talking. 

“Ugh pass,” Dick said with a shake of his head as soon as he brought up veil as his favorite food. Of course, the man who kills people for a living loves eating baby cows.

“Have you even tried it?” Slade said almost offended and Dick crinkled his nose in disgust.

“It is a baby you are eating, you psycho. Next you are gonna tell me you prefer to just go bite its throat out while its still living.”

Slade groaned loudly and rolled his head up, “I’m not a vampire, kid. Not going to go devore something still alive.”

“That’s not vampires that do that, stupid,” Dick said shaking his head, “It’s zombies. Vampires lull their victims in and feast on them bit by bit. Zombies just devour them while they are still alive.”

A ring of the bell opening made them pause in their laughter and Dick groaned in annoyance glancing back to see Commissioner Gordon with a pissed Barbara Gordon coming in right behind him.

“Hey Dick,” the commissioner began giving him a stern look.

“Did Bruce or Alfred call you or did Babs put you up to giving me the talk?” Dick asked innocently turning towards them.

“A little of column A and a lot of column B,” Babs said glaring at him and giving a deadly look Slade’s way who just smiled to her.

“Mr. Wayne was afraid something had happened to you since you didn’t turn up last night,” the commissioner began but Babs cut off her dad.

“And I was worried since you promised to call me when you got home but didn’t. I thought something awful happened!”

Dick glanced around at the few patrons looking at them in the café and could only assume one of them had reported seeing Bruce’s car in the outskirts of town like this. He sighed getting up and saw Gordon trying to place who the older man with Dick was since he knew his family very well.

“This is John,” Dick said easily to the commissioner who turned back to him, “He saw I was alone and recognized me and was making sure I was ok. I am.”

The commissioner seemed to buy it, but Barbara didn’t.

“I’m driving you back to make sure you get home this time,” she stated firmly grabbing his hand and dragging him out, “Dad will meet us there to complete his report.”

Dick left willingly with his friend, taking a quick glance back seeing Commissioner Gordon drilling Slade and he smiled towards him as it began. He doubted anything would come of this, you didn’t get arrested for just talking to weird kids in public. 

Dick was in for hell once he was in the car and Babs laid into him and he was absolutely fucked once he got home. That was fine. Everything was alright. This hell was still better then feeling dead in purgatory.


End file.
